His Icy Blues.

Lately, with life moving grudgingly forward, it's been easy to stray away from my love for him. It's been easy to ignore the gnawing ache I usually feel for him, when I haven't had a glimpse of his perfectly imperfect and mysterious face, stone-cold to all emotion, for quite some time...an eternity, it seems. But lately, he's crept back into my troubled mind, through dreams and daydreams. How I could love someone with such a frozen exterior? I shall never know the answer. I don't know how I could love someone who doesn't love me (who hates me, in fact), how I could love someone who doesn't appear to love anyone...but I know, deep in the recesses of his black heart, lies a yearning to love and belong, a burning desire to feel complete. Will he ever feel complete? Will he find that special someone to fill the empty space in his life that I know must be killing him, silently? I'm not sure...but I know with every fiber of my being, that he could fill my empty space so completely. He is the missing piece to the jigsaw puzzle of my life, and it pains me to know that he is unaware of that. I don't belong with a flawless male model, I don't belong with the boy next door, I don't belong with a millionaire, a strong jock, a doctor, lawyer, or a famous rockstar...he is the one I deserve to be with, in all his black-clad and silently-moping glory. He is the one my soul was intended to love. But, due to his hysterical blindness, he'll never realize how much I truly love every inch and aspect of his existence. He could be compelete, too, if he only knew. It is not lust I feel for him, either, not at all...I care for him and would do anything for him, if I knew I could make him happy. When I'm around him, there is a magnetism that even I don't understand, like a million jolts of electricity flowing through me. It was love at first sight three years ago-- from his voice (and sometimes lack thereof) to his mannerisms, his walk to his style, his sarcasm to his accidental silliness, his darkness to his mystery, his mind, his hands, his skin, his eyes...

Damn him and his icy blues, for captivating me so, for making me fall so deeply in love that I may never be able to pull myself back up to the surface. I'm drowning in those eyes. Yeah, yeah, call me crazy, call me a drama queen, but if you've never felt a love this true, this profound, then you have not lived, my friend, and you certainly have not loved.